Secular AA Global Speaker Tour - Reason and Recovery - Mar 1, 2026

March 2026: Secular AA's monthly world-tour of speaker meetings is hosted by the Reason and Recovery. Our speakers this month are:

• Marsha F.
• Stefanie F.
• Michael S.
• Nathan H.

..with Stephanie F. (NZ) as emcee.

Following these talks is sharing from around our agnostic/atheist/freethinkers AA world. This is an open and welcoming meeting inviting others to share their thoughts about the speakers' shares and should be interesting for anyone, newcomer and long-timer alike (or just curious).

Next month's Secular AA Global Speaker Tour will be featuring the "Beyond Belief Toronto" on Sunday, April 5th with simultaneous translation to Español at:

• 2 pm EST
• 1 pm CST
• 12 pm AZ
• 11 am PST
• 7 pm UK
• 6 am AEDT (Monday)

Everyone is welcome to join our monthly open/public secular AA meeting.

ZOOM ID 864 4074 0033
Passcode 121212
(CON TRADUCCIÓN SIMULTÁNEA INGLÉS<>ESPAÑOL)

For more info on secular AA including Zoom meetings, in-person meetings, and virtual gatherings, check out:
- https://aasecular.org
- secularAA@gmail.com

Secular AA is AA sobriety that is neither religious nor irreligious, focusing on the practical, humanist tools of Alcoholics Anonymous and borrowed from the wider recovery community. Secular AA is a growing subculture within AA, offering 100 agnostic/atheist/freethinkers AA meetings every day + regional events and the International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA). More @ https://aasecular.org

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Welcome to Secular AAA's global tour of monthly speaker meetings featuring secular AA groups across the globe and the globe. I am a sober alcoholic or an alcohol-free margarita, and I just have a few announcements before we welcome our guests from R2, Reason and Recovery, The Power of Two. And I want to thank the many people supporting this monthly meeting with spreading the word and hosting and the security and recording and editing and posting. Regarding simultaneous translation, and huge thanks to Fabio and Veronica, who are providing simultaneous translation from English to Spanish and Spanish to English. So to choose to listen in English only or Spanish only, find the Globe icon labeled interpretation on your toolbar and select your preferred language. And today's speakers from Reason Recovery will be presenting in English, followed by an open discussion from participants who can share in English or in Spanish because you will be translated into the other language simultaneously. Today's 90-minute event is brought to you by Secular AA. Our format is secular. The people who are here all have different beliefs, and we hope that everyone can feel free to express themselves without fear of dissuasion or persuasion. We do not use prayer from any religions in the meeting. Now, with our main event, I'm very pleased to hand the mic over to today's MC, Stephanie in New Zealand, who introduced the group, Reason and Recovery. And as well as today's speakers, another Stephanie F and Nathan, Michael, Marsha, not necessarily in that order, who will share about uh 10, 15 minutes each, followed by opportunities for all participants to share about three minutes each. The meeting usually lasts about 90, but we're happy to keep going for all two uh to share who wish to. So big welcome here to Artu and their MC Stephanie. Stephanie, please unmute to begin.

SPEAKER_06 2:02

Uh thanks, Margarita. Hi everyone, I'm Stephanie. I'm an alcoholic. Good morning, or at least morning where I am in New Zealand. Uh so I would call Reason and Recovery my home group. If you are used to being in the Zoom universe, you can pick whatever home group you like. And I can only say from my personal experience, I stay in Reason and Recovery because the God stuff isn't on the table. Simply the meeting, in my opinion, is recovery. That's all that meeting is for. And that is one of the most beautiful parts of this is coming into Reason and Recovery and being a part of that community and focusing really on recovery. Um, so I'm so excited to have four people. Um, I'm glad we were able to fit four people, and we will definitely do that. Um, so I'm just your MC. I'm not the speaker. So I will pass you over to our first speaker, which is uh Marcia. Come on in. Hello, good morning.

SPEAKER_05 2:52

Thanks very much, Stephanie. Appreciate you. Hey, family. Uh I see you, Joe. Alcoholic Dietic, my problem is Marcia. Um, thank you all for being here and for giving me the opportunity to be of service for this group. So um when uh Stephanie Volin told me to be part of this event, um, she did ask um in the Stephanie way that she does, which is uh very convincing. Um so um when Stephanie had uh originally asked about this, um, I decided I said, okay, well, yeah, sure, I can I can do that. Actually, what I said to her was, you know, go talk to other people that have been part of the group longer um because I don't I don't want to step on any toes or anything like that. So um actually before that, a little bit of background on me. Um my sobriety date is June 16th of 2017. So as long as I don't do anything ridiculously stupid between now and June, I'll have nine years. And uh that's pretty incredible, yeah. Um pandemic hit and uh started going to uh these online meetings. I wasn't too into them to begin with because I was very, very stuck on my home group. I I do live in Toronto, and um I'd fallen into a nice routine with my home group. It was a Friday night speaker meeting and a Saturday morning book study. And um, you know, I had the keys to the church, and that's what I did. And when I first started going to my home group, um I uh would open up the church and I would make the coffee and arrange the chairs, and please don't touch my chairs. That is the way the chairs are supposed to be. They're supposed to be lined up exactly like this, and don't touch my chairs. And uh when I came into the group, I was very grumpy. Um, I was allowed to do all service positions except greeter. I wasn't allowed to be the greeter because I was way too grumpy. Um, at that point, um, you know, a home group that I found here in Toronto. Um, I literally I went into the meeting one night and became a group member the next day and just got sucked into this amazing group of people that just allowed me to be myself. Um, because of all the meetings I was going into Toronto, everybody kept telling me that I needed to find a God in order to stay sober. I was actually told that if I didn't find God, I was gonna die. Like die, die. Not even you're not gonna stay sober. Like I was gonna be dead. Um, and I'd sit in the back of the meetings and I'd cry and I'd cry and I'd cry and I'd cry because there was no way I was gonna do that. Absolutely no way. You know, coming into a recovery to me, you know, they say it's the last house on the block. I didn't see it that way. I saw this as the first house in on my new block of recovery. And I wanted to be part of this recovery thing so badly, but I could not, could not believe in this, in this, you know, God thing. Um and people would say, well, just use my higher power or my God's looking out for you, and this, that, and whatever. And I would just, I'd call them on it. I'm like, that's that's bull. Number one, I can't base my recovery, which is gonna be with me for the rest of my life. I can't base my recovery on something I don't believe in. So I can't, well, just try and believe. No, I've got to be able to believe in it. That's just the way it goes. So um I had somebody come up to me very early in recovery. Um, he's not with us anymore. His name is Bob Kay. Um, I was about four months into recovery and I was at a meeting and uh, you know, had just finished a share where people were telling me, you know, you gotta find this God thing. You gotta kind of get connected with this God thing. And he just walked up to me and he said, Hey kid, he's grumpy, man. Said, hey kid, just just don't drink, don't die. Don't drink, don't die. And so that's the way it's been for me for the past nine years. He said, You'll find your way. So um the group that I had in Toronto was absolutely amazing. Um I I did venture out some other groups. I did find Beyond Belief Toronto. Um, I found a lot of grumpy people there too. Do you get the theme that was happening with me? I was the grumpy one, but I blamed it on everybody else and everything else because I hadn't found I found sobriety, but I hadn't found my recovery yet. The recovery had not started at all. So the online meetings came and uh so I've been around for quite some time as part of the Toronto Beyond Belief meetings, uh, some meetings in Ireland. Um, and I think that's where my recovery started happening because people were no longer talking about the God thing anymore, and they were actually talking about what happens when your shoelace is untied and you got a drink, when um somebody doesn't agree with somebody didn't agree with something that I said um and and I needed to drink. When that woman upstairs, my mom, was started bugging the crap out of me because she wanted to move the couch from this side of the house to that side of the house. And I knew that by the end of the day, we'd just move it right back when she would start bothering me because my time is so valuable, you know, when she would start bothering me and I wanted to drink. Um, and in the rooms, um, people were actually talking about recovery. And I started learning about the whole ownership and uh responsibility that I had to take for myself. And and I could talk about my depression and my anger issues and things like that. Um, and it was absolutely incredible. It was amazing. Things were coasting along well for a while. And then I started to get a little bored because, you know, I fell into that place of um when you kind of sort of get contem uh uh got comfortable, content with how things are going. And recovery is going well for me, so I don't have to look at this and I don't have to look at that. And um, you know, people weren't talking very much about the big book anymore because I used to get a lot of that with the with the the uh in in in-person meetings and and all that stuff. And so people weren't talking about the big book and stuff like that anymore. And I kind of felt like I was getting disconnected with my whole recovery. Um and I realized at that point, you know, I could either sit and complain about what was happening, what was going on, or I could try and be part of the solution. Um, so the groups that I was part of, um, I would, we would talk about some recovery stuff and and uh, you know, using things like uh living sober at the um at the the meetings. And uh I found a nice little tribe of people that were also into talking about the big book and and everything. Because I was also meeting a lot of people that were getting clean on the screen, you know, there were Zoom babies that had no idea what in-person meetings were about, and uh they had no idea um a lot of the things that that, you know, going on a 12-step call and and and things like that. Um, they didn't want to read the big book and everything like that, you know. And uh so, you know, again, feeling that disconnect, um, I ran across a large group called Omega and uh our mostly agnostic group of drunks. And through Omega God, I was introduced to R2. Now I'm I'm I'm back about three years now. I would go to R2. I felt very intimidated by this group, and I'm not really sure why. Because remember, I said I was feeling disconnected with a lot of different things. Yes, I'm getting to know myself and I'm learning things about myself and you know, doing my step 10 stuff and and and you know, being of service and everything like that, but there was there was just something missing. And then I I got into R2 and I heard about like true accountability based on um that program of uh recovery that comes out of the big book, but they weren't shoving it down my throat or anything like that. And there were people in that meeting that had some solid that they were talking about. Um, one of the people you will hear from uh later on in this, um, he really intimidated me. Um he started talking about having to push my ego aside. And I thought, who the hell do you think you are? I don't have an ego. And he would tell his story, and as like, oh my god, like he is exactly like me. And maybe those are things that I need to start looking into. So what do I do? I just stop going to R2. I just stopped going to the meeting because it was hitting just a little bit too close to home for me. Um, you know, and and now time's going by and I'm doing different service at different groups and everything like that. And I can't say things are going well. I had a really bad year that happened, and you know, thanks to the people in the Toronto group, and I did service for uh the Paris meeting at 6 a.m. Saturday mornings for years. And uh, you know, I was told just don't stop going to the meetings. So I'm thinking, don't drink, don't die, keep going to the meetings. Don't drink, don't die, keep going to the meetings. Um so my uh year of service with the Paris group was finished up about six weeks ago, I'm gonna say, like not even six weeks ago. And I was talking to our MC there, Stephanie, and I said, you know, I think I need to pick up service at another group because, you know, I can't be without a service position. And so we started talking about R2, um, doing service for them. Because I'd recently spoken at their Saturday meeting, and I said, Well, yeah, maybe I'll think about picking up a service commitment for them. And I went to a meeting like about a day or so later, and it was announced that I was going to be their Saturday morning uh host. And I was like, Oh, okay. Um so in the past six weeks, I've only been part of like a service person for R2 for the past six weeks. But what I do know about this group is um I felt absolutely completely welcomed by this group. Um I'm being challenged once again, um, just by listening to how the people in the group share um how the service uh committee um is really organized. Um, I have not run into any drama yet. I don't know if people have been part of the group longer can say, what are you talking about? There's drama everywhere. I haven't seen it. It's not part of my recovery. Um, what I have fallen into is a group that welcomes the newcomers like I've never seen them welcome them before, um, that are genuinely concerned about tradition one, um, tradition three, uh, tradition five. They they jump out, they're carrying the message. You are a member if you say you are, and personal recovery depends on unity, on AA unity. And that's exactly what I see within this group. And excuse me, um, I've listened to people talk about waking up at stupid o'clock in the morning, and there's a group of people that they can go to and they can talk to. Um, they have a WhatsApp group called RSR R2BS. Bullshit. Um, but there's um, you know, a bunch uh that there's fellowship within that that people can talk about things and uh um really get down to the causes and conditions about what's going on. Um what I really, really appreciate about R2 is that they've taken the 12 steps because of course in the beginning I figured out what steps I needed, you know. Um, yes, there's 12 steps. I remember telling my original sponsor, I don't need these, these steps here. Um, but that was going to traditional meetings and they just kind of looked at me and laughed. Um, but this group has taken those 12 steps and broke them down to six absolutely amazing steps that are simple and easy to follow as long as you are willing to put in the work. And here's a group of people that's willing to put in the work. You know, they they talk in the big book. I think it's in um a vision for you where they talk about um, you know, shoulder-to-shoulder. Um, and I'm not talking about the modem to modem things. Okay. I'm talking about uh they talk about how you meet lifelong friends as you go along your way. Um, I've met a lot of lifelong friends already on the online meetings, um, but I have a whole new group of them now that are recovery focused, that can still talk about everyday things um through their six steps of recovery. Um, people that are they they want to learn. I can see them that they're like sponges that just want to come in and absorb everything and learn about things. Um, and they really encourage the newcomer to get involved in service um as early as possible, which I think is absolutely incredible, you know. So as a person who's been around, I've been around the room since 2003. That was when I first came into recovery. I didn't find sobriety until 2017. And I'm really starting to see that I'm really starting to find my recovery on a whole different level now, um, thanks to this group of reason and recovery. You know, there's a lot of other people in other groups that have helped me along as well, but I'm talking about here and now, you know, right in the present. Um, so yes, R2 is my home group. Um, they're very well welcoming. Um, and uh um if you want to go to a meeting that is recovery-based, I'm not saying solution-based, because you're not always gonna find a solution-based meeting or anything like that. But if you want a meeting that's recovery-based, I would suggest, suggest, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I would suggest that you check out R2. Um, you know, some of the meetings you'll like, some of the meetings you won't. But, you know, if if you're looking for something that has to do with recovery, um, this would be a nice, solid, decent place to start. Um they have different branches of of R2 with the Oh my God group. Um, they have uh there's a big book study that um that this group is involved with, which was absolutely amazing. Um, and uh just a lot of really nice, awesome, amazing people. So I'm not gonna talk too much more about all of that stuff because I said I've only been part of this group for six for six weeks. And um I want to thank each and every group member that has welcomed me, um, trained me on how to keep the meetings safe, um, challenged me with my way of thinking and all of that stuff, and just helped me um be me. And that's the most important thing about this. As long as I'm comfortable within myself, um, then I think everything is gonna be okay. So don't drink, don't die, don't stop going to meetings. Find a home group, be of service. Um, and with those things in mind, I think I'm gonna be okay. So I'm gonna pass it on to the next speaker at this point. Um, they'll fill you in a lot more. That's my six-week experience with R2, even though I've been going there for years and years. Um, I just want to thank everybody for welcoming me in. And I'm gonna turn the meeting back over to you, Stephanie. Um, thank you all very much to my R2 family. I love you, and to everybody here, keep your head out of your butt and do the next right thing. If you don't know what that is, come and check out our meeting. Um, you'll be surprised what you'll find out. So thanks a lot, family. Take care.

SPEAKER_06 17:42

Oh, thank you, Asha. Thanks for being here, and thanks for your service today. All right, our next person, Michael, come on in. Good to see ya.

SPEAKER_10 17:52

Thanks, Stephanie. Hi, everyone. I'm Michael, I'm an alcoholic. Uh my sobriety date is 8 to 2025. So tomorrow is my seven-month milestone. Um I came into R2 three days after my last drink. So um, it's been my home group for a very, very long time for me. I've been happy to be there. Uh, a little bit of background. I started drinking when I was really young. Um never daily. It was, you know, I was a college partier. Uh I was a competitive ice skater and he just never drank during the week. Practice, all that stuff was more important to me, but on the weekends, it was on and I would binge drink. Um did that pretty much through my 20s, 30s, occasional times when I had surgery, I'd be on opioids instead. Um, and they handed them out like candy back then. Um then um, yeah, I would just it was always like a kind of a weekend thing for me until COVID hit. And we were trapped in the house, and I found this amazing thing called drizzly, and they delivered bottles of vodka to my door. Um I drank pretty much every day during COVID. Every single day, and I don't mean in the afternoons, in the evenings. It was from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. Um we went back to the office and of course I couldn't drink all day. I would come home and uh I would do three shots as soon as I got home. Tito was my friend. Um last year I had a rock about him, which was unfortunately my husband's birthday party, where I got so drunk that I blacked out, cast out, fell down. Um they had to call the anties and um take me to the hospital, and I had 400 times the limit in my blood that would be normal for someone drinking. Uh basically, it was if you don't quit drinking, you're going to die. My liver was inflamed, I had high liver enzymes, and the thing is, I already knew I had a liver problem because I had been going to a GI doctor and I ignored them. Um I just I wasn't ready. I tried a few online meetings, I tried to white knuckle it a couple of times, I could get by a couple of weeks without it. Um after that hospital visit, I knew I had to look for help. I couldn't do it on my own. I started with oh my god, um, and their secular meeting, and then the next night was R2. Um I never felt more welcomed by groups of people as I did coming to those two meetings, and I was a mess. Just an absolute mental and physical mess, especially for the first couple weeks. Um I love the you know idea of the six steps, um, but I've been working the 12 steps in the first month, uh someone in R2 oh my god, uh it's the same person I just can't remember to meet. Was heavily suggested I get a sponsor and nudged and nudged and nudged harder and I finally got a sponsor and we've been working on the steps together. I'm on step 10. Um, I've done my inventory, my fears, my resentments, my amends to the people who want the amends, and some amends that didn't get done because they just didn't want to hear from me. Um I thought I was a social drinker, but um, I was wrong. Um every time I come to one of the R2 meetings, it is an absolute place of honesty, rigorous honesty. I can speak to the entire group and know that they get me. Um it's not something that non-alcoholics or normies as I call them can possibly understand. I I try to explain it. It's just it's hard for anybody to understand that this disease was progressive, this disease took over my life, and you know, no one caused it, no one can control it, and no one can cure it. It's up to me to remain sober, but without R2, without these people, I would not be sober today. I can call any one of my sober buddies, and someone who's speaking next is one of them. We texted for at least an hour before this meeting because we were both nervous about it. This is my first time speaking at a meeting like this, and I was scared shitless. Oh, sorry, I I promised myself I wouldn't be using profanity. Um yeah, so you know, I got I got through all of that. I I went through horrible withdrawals on my own. My husband um had to fly out of town for work the week after I was trying to get myself together. And my sister was here, and she's helpful um all the time, sometimes a little over helpful, uh, sometimes a little over worried, but I know that comes out of care and love. Um but here in R2 was the place I found friends that really got me. Um I can call people friends that I may not even like some some of the things they say, but I respect them with so much. They have they have so much integrity and honesty and will call me out on my bullshit. Um I can't say good enough things about R2. Um, it's my home meeting. Um, it's where I do my seventh, the seventh edition. It's where I, you know, I've made amends to members of R2 before because you know, I'm still working on my, you know, don't react, respond, take my deep breath before I respond. Um it's a constant, everyday battle for me not to react to some things. And I do, I snap sometimes, and I try to immediately apologize for it. It happens. Um, my sponsor uh used to come to R2 uh and understands the process with R2. Um I am very, very lucky to have the sponsor I have. He is one of the most wise people I've ever met and ever spoken with. Um asked me to do things I did not want to do. I did not want to read the big book, but I did. And yes, I put things off sometimes because I didn't want to do them. And the one of the best questions, one of the best statements was you know it's still there, even if you just keep putting it off, you're gonna have to do it. So he knows I'll put things off and then he'll nudge me to just do it. And he nudged me to do this too. So um, yeah, uh I still live with fears. I fear that I'm going to drink. Um, but I also have so many tools now that I did not have before. I have so many sober buddies I can just text and not even say, hey, I'm just having a rough day, just say, hey, how are you doing? Because just a conversation with somebody else from R2 or from Oh my God or any one of my sober buddies may not be about staying sober, may just be about me getting out of my own head. And I think that's what's really important. Sorry, I look at notes once in a while. Um, things I found in recovery, better communication. I communicate with my husband so much better than I did when I was drinking because I no longer snap. Okay, most of the time I don't snap. Um, you know, we have conversations now that that are serious and um deeper than just the everyday, oh, what's the schedule this week and all of that kind of stuff, which can kill a relationship. And my drinking was killing our relationship. And I didn't realize that until I basically destroyed his birthday. And will I always feel regret about that? Yes. Has he forgiven me for it? Yes. Doesn't take away that I did it. Um let's see. Let me just do like one last thing. I know like some of the sayings can be corny, but they always seem to work for me. Um Live and Let Live. Rule 62, don't take yourself so seriously. Did I get that right? Was that was that rule 62? Okay. Trying to remember numbers in my head. Um and and just funny things like don't let your feelings turn into felonies, there's no Netflix in prison. Um those, you know, are the things that are that just stupid lines that that really that keep me from going over the edge on days that I could possibly go over the edge. I had a horrible dream last night that I was drinking champagne. Guess what? I hate champagne. I don't know why it was champagne. Um, I woke up afraid. Afraid I was going to drink before this meeting and ruin almost seven months of sobriety. So, yes, I still carry fears. Yes, I still sometimes think about drinking. Um, I don't crave it. Um, I don't want to drink. And with thought of it, when I really think about it, like if it crosses my head as, oh god, that that would just ruin my day, it would ruin my sobriety, and I'd feel like crap tomorrow. And I was done with feeling like crap every morning. And I mean every morning. The days that I was off work, I didn't feel like crap in the morning because I woke up and poured myself two shots of vodka at 7 30 a.m. So I hid a lot, or at least I thought I was hiding it. After getting sober, I found 37 empty bottles in my sewing room. 37 I had hidden. I thought I was hiding it. I wasn't hiding it. It was very obvious when I was drinking to both my sister and my husband. Um, I no longer have to hide or keep secrets like that anymore, which is a god, it is such a relief. And it is such a relief to be sober and happy and find that I can go out and enjoy myself and make new memories. Because a lot of my old memories, I don't have them because they were blackouts. And I've also found who are my true friends, not just in AA, but my true friends that have supported me through my sobriety since it was like a second coming out, coming out as being sober. Um, with that, I will pass on to our next speaker. I hope I didn't end on a bad note because I gotta tell you, I'm really, really happy. I am a very happy, sober person now. And I never thought I could feel so much joy in my life and not want to kill myself anymore. So with that, I'll pass it on. And uh thank you all for listening to me. Thank you for your service today. Um, I hope in some way I was helpful.

SPEAKER_06 31:33

Absolutely. You shared your story, so that's absolutely helpful. And congratulations on getting through your first speaker meeting. Woohoo! You did it. You did it. All right, now, Stephanie, come on in. Good to see you.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

Hello, my name is Stephanie, and I'm in recovery from substance abuse and bulimia. My sobriety date is 9-11, 2025. So just a little over five and a half months sober. Um, thank you guys so much for being here and for letting me talk today. It's really meaningful to be in a room full of people who understand something so complicated as recovery. Uh, because even if it's as easy as not taking a drink today, uh, there's a lot more that goes into it because life is certainly very complicated. Um, I didn't always have a problematic relationship with alcohol. Uh, in fact, uh, whenever I was in high school, I went to a couple of parties uh and had drinks there, but it was never anything crazy. Um, in fact, I can think it was, you know, maybe a maximum of two or three uh parties. But at that time, really the biggest thing I was dealing with uh was an eating disorder that I had developed when I was in middle school. I had lived with anxiety and depression for most of my life. I grew up around a lot of people who drank, um, crazy parties, uh, you know, all the things that kids probably uh shouldn't see or be part of. Um however, uh, you know, when I was 21, uh I was a social drinker. Um in fact, uh I remember, you know, going to, you know, a couple of college parties, still nothing crazy. Uh I remember the day after my 21st birthday, I actually went out and bought beer for my friends uh who were not yet 21, but at that time I didn't even drink it. Uh most of my college years I didn't drink. Um, you know, uh I still had trouble with the eating disorder. Um, it wasn't until I moved to Yuma, Arizona that I became a daily marijuana user. And it seems, it may seem crazy, and I think uh this gets kind of like downplayed a lot as to, you know, how addictive marijuana can really be. But it's hard for me to say it's not addictive when I was smoking it all day, every day. Uh still at that time I was drinking socially, still nothing crazy. Um, I moved uh back from uh Arizona back to Ohio. Uh and um whenever I moved back to Ohio, I started um I started drinking a little more. Um and then the COVID lockdown happened. And my husband and I both had jobs uh that suddenly became crazy, a crazy number of hours. He was in IT, I was a teacher, I was trying to figure out how to teach kids who are neuro neurodivergent on Zoom. He was taking calls at all hours of the night. And so the only way we really found to wind down uh was by drinking. And at that time, um, you know, the world got a little bit smaller. Um, there was a lot of isolation and uncertainty. Everything seemed to change. I couldn't go see my dad like I had wanted to, and we had moved uh to Stowe because we really uh wanted to be closer to him because of the lockdown. Um he went into total quarantine. Um and so uh, you know, that was out. We were drinking more, but we kind of made it work for us uh because after work hours we were drinking, we were listening to music, we were singing together, we were laughing, you know, and it it became that became kind of the release um from uh from kind of that uh you know crazy work hours and just the uncertainty of the world. Um so at first it was really fun, and uh slowly something started to shift. Um, I left teaching a couple years later uh and took a different type of job where I was working a lot more from home. And um, alcohol started stopped being something I chose and started being something I relied on. And it really didn't take long before all of the rules that I held before, like not drinking during the day, uh, not drinking daily, um, all of those went out the window. All those rules left. Um, and what followed was a progression I didn't fully see while I was living it. Um, and I ended up in detox. And then I ended up in detox again. And finally, the third time, something clicked. And I realized I couldn't continue to try to fight this on my own. And I absolutely needed help. In fact, right before I left for detox the third time, I remember lying in bed one day with this just overwhelming sense of dread, and it was almost like something I had never felt before. It was at that moment I realized I could not quit drinking safely on my own, and that I was physically dependent. So this dread was just something heavier than I had ever felt, and it was quieter. And there was this realization that I couldn't live, keep living the way I was living. And at that moment was terrifying because I had been in denial for so long, and all of that denial seemed to leave. And the reality of my situation just came like barging into my mind. And I finally turned to my husband and told him I needed to go to the hospital and detox. Um, that was the moment that I stopped trying to do it alone. And while I was in the hospital, I met a psychiatrist who happened to be on rounds that weekend, who was also an addiction specialist. Um, and because of my previous experiences with the eating disorder and with the anxiety and with the depression, he took me on as a client. He visited me every day I was in the hospital. And when I finally got out of the hospital, I immediately went to um I went to a traditional AA meeting on Zoom. And uh I've always been more of a secular humanist. And so I was a little wary of traditional AA meetings. Um, but I found one uh I actually kind of looked in a state I thought might be a little more progressive. Um and I found a really great traditional meeting that met in the morning called the Good Morning Meeting. Really nice people, really great, really open, but I still felt like I couldn't totally be myself at these meetings. Um and I couldn't totally share who I actually was because of a lot of the mentioning of God and higher power and things like that, that just didn't ring true with me. And it just wasn't who I am. Um, my father and my brother, who I look up to more than anybody in my family, um, had always really um pushed for a secular viewpoint. And I really made that a part of my identity. So uh one Friday night, uh I signed on to the intergroup website and I happened to just type in agnostic. Um, and I looked up an agnostic meeting, and it happened that uh Omega God, who uh the other two speakers have mentioned, uh was having a meeting within 30 minutes, and I signed in and I started listening, and I was still a little skeptical, still not really sure what to think, but I kept um but I kept listening. And um part of their like kind of uh pre-recorded message quoted Douglas Adams. And uh, like I mentioned, I look up to my brother more than anything, who is a literature professor. So alternative uh forms of literature, alternative literature, alternative films, uh independent literature and films uh really ring true with me. It's what's uh so I finally felt like I found where the nerds go to get sober. Um, because and I finally found a group of people I felt that I could connect with. And it was from there that I started that I went to my first reason and recovery meeting. And at my first uh reason and recovery meeting, uh at the end, they always have a sing along. And uh this was a Saturday morning, so the sing-along happened to be Here Comes the Sun, which is my all-time favorite Beatles song. And I those are the things that really grabbed me and they got me listening. And I started, um, I came back and it turned out that they have a sponciage, and our wonderful MC uh was who I ended up being matched up with uh for a sponsor. And uh I've been able to start working through the steps in a secular way, and I've maintained my recovery. And this group, this group, uh R2, has I've really met people here and really connected with people on a level I never thought possible. I felt so much of my life. I spent in isolation, being the outcast, the underdog. And I kind of thought that all of that connection stuff in AA was sort of stuff you just saw in movies or on TV, where people are calling each other all the time, where people are just getting together and meeting because somebody's having a bad rough time. Well, I'll tell you, I was up until one in the morning with some people from R2 because I'd been having um a rough couple of weeks, and uh some of my friends were also, and we all sat and talked and told each other that we loved each other. And, you know, I realized that that stuff that I was seeing on TV and in movies about, you know, the connections you make in AA was all true. And that is one of the biggest things that Reason and Recovery has given to me is I don't know where I would be without these wonderful people in my life. Um and so uh recovery uh felt less like something I had to survive, and now it's more something that I can grow inside of. And my life is certainly not perfect, but it's a life where I don't abandon myself. And before recovery, I didn't trust my own promises, and my mind was just a constant negotiation, and there was so much cognitive dissonance going on. But recovery ended that. It taught me I could sit with discontent instead of running from it. It taught me that connection is stronger than isolation, and it taught me that honesty is stabilizing. So today, my life may not be perfect, but it's real. And I wake up without fear of what I did the night before. And more importantly, I found a place where I could recover and be my authentic. Itself. So thank you so much for having me and letting me speak and letting me share.

SPEAKER_06 44:08

Thank you. I don't have roads for that. Thank you so much. Thanks for sharing. And now someone knows speaking. Hello, Nathan. You want to come in and close us out? Good to see you. Thanks for your service.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Thank you, Steph. I'm Nathan. I'm an alcoholic. I'm not hearing it. Um Nathan. Thank you. Um wow. I'm I'm actually quite emotional because um I didn't know this was gonna happen. I didn't know that the meeting that started in 2020 because of the pandemic was gonna be this. You know? Um it's a beautiful thing that we have here in Alcoholics Anonymous. Um let me get my bearings straight here. First of all, I want to thank Stephanie for putting this together. Um, she does a lot of things that uh uh that she doesn't have to be asked to do, and that's part of recovery. And I love that. Um like I said, I'm Nathan, I'm alcoholic. I use the term alcoholic because it encompasses all of my disorders. Um because I do I uh I uh I did more than drank, and uh and my recovery date is June 6th, night of 1986. So if nothing unfortunate happens between now and June, I will take 40 years of doing what we do here, um, which just doesn't seem real because it's I don't know. I've been doing it a long time and it's just who I am. You know, I I'm it's just what it's I just do this. This is what I do. Um and I'm and I'm not here to promote reason and recovery. You know, I don't believe in promoting anything. We are a we are a group of people that would normally not mix, and we mix well when we do. Um and we talk about the things that we like and we invite people to come join and do the things that we have found that are working for us, and and that's why I'm so overwhelmed with emotion just listening to the shares before me, uh finding something that they love, something that resonates with them, and something that that uh they found a fellowship because that's what this is about. You know, I uh I want to thank Marcia for for speaking. You know, I've known Marsha longer than six weeks, and uh and she always has stuff that resonates with me. Um so I'm glad you're part of this. And and everyone here that's speaking, with the exception of Stephanie, who I'm sure will be soon, is is a host of of the meeting, uh, or has been a host of the meeting. And um, and I didn't know I was gonna do that either. You know, what what grew what grew out of a out of a necessity from the pandemic has turned into a self-sustaining organization that's built on unity and respect and and uh committee responsibility and and uh and group conscience. You know, we talk about the power of two because that was my solution to staying in Alcoholics Anonymous. Like I said, I've been, you know, I I literally grew up an Alcoholics Anonymous. I came in when I was 26 years old completely broken. Um I started drinking and using when I was 12 years old. Um I was a latchkey kid in the 60s. My parents divorced in in the mid-60s. So um, you know, being of that particular generation, you grew up, you you know, you you learn how to grow up on your own. Uh there weren't a lot of parents around. So uh as a as a as a budding alcoholic, you know, the first opportunities that I had to check out, uh I've grabbed a hold of those and made those, made that, you know, the central part of my life because that's how I was gonna fit in. That's how I was gonna alleviate the fears that I had. It's you know, it's it's interesting when people say they're intimidated by me because um I grew up afraid of everyone and everything, and I had to develop a way to defend myself. So that's probably just old shit of uh of personality trying to keep people away from me because uh because I was afraid as a kid, you know. But we talk about the power of two because that was a solution for me to staying in Alcoholics Anonymous, because um, you know, growing up here, um, you know, they say trust God, clean house, and help another alcoholic. And I'm an atheist, you know. Uh but I came into Alcoholics Anonymous so deeply broken that I was willing to follow in, you know, whatever I was told. And so I I tried to adopt uh a God when I came in. I wasn't raised religious, I come from a Jewish background, you know, a reformed Jewish background, so you know we have it was traditionally religious, not orthodoxy religious. So I had you know I had religious concepts around me, but none of that stuff ever made any sense. And so um, you know, you think about Alcoholics Anonymous, and I call it Orthodox Alcoholics Anonymous as opposed to secular alcoholics anonymous. Because uh, you know, you do hear things like if you don't fight God, you're gonna die, right? And uh and I did whatever I did what I did what they suggested because I was desperate. But I you know it it it didn't stick that concept of of of a superior creator looking down on me and making sure that I'm tucked in bed every night. That uh that didn't stick. And uh but Alcoholics Anonymous is the last house on the block. You know, if you don't make it here, as my sponsor said, you're forever fucked. And uh I had no place else to go. So I stayed in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I you know I worked my steps and I had a sponsor and I did all that, but that you know, that God portion um didn't stick. And the longer I stayed in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I got into service early, and you know, I was I was on commit, you know, I I I did what the what I built a foundation here in Alcoholics Anonymous that has sustained me for all of this time. But uh but going to meetings and and not relating to the place that I grew up in anymore, after years, it's it it became a dangerous proposition because I know that I can't leave Alcoholics Anonymous. Me personally, I can't leave Alcoholics Anonymous. And I was finding it hard to stay in Alcoholics Anonymous, going to book studies and hearing people share about parking lot gods, and um just to me it's silliness, you know. To me, it was silliness, and and I was relating less and less and less, and it became a dilemma because you talk about a higher power, you know, a power greater than ourselves, and um and I had to figure out something that so that I could feel um that I wasn't a bullshooter, right? Trust God, clean house, and help another alcoholic. Can't trust God, don't believe in God. But I've been around Alcoholics Anonymous to understand what the power of two is, and that's one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope. And that's a power greater than any one of us alone. And that has always been my solution in all of these years is reaching out to another alcoholic uh in this program who is probably not as insane as I am today, who might have a suggestion for me that will kind of set me back on the right path. Um get me out of my panic state, or get me out of my anxiety state, or get me out of my fear state. And that's always worked because I've tapped into a power greater than myself, a power of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And so by for so for me to be able to have you know, and to me it's kind of scientific because it's demonstratable and proven over and over again. Every time I do it, I get the same result. Um so I didn't feel like a phony in Alcoholics Anonymous anymore. At least, you know, I was following the three principles that we have here, and um but I had to stop sponsoring people because I couldn't sponsor them through the 12 steps the way that I was taken through those 12 steps. Uh I couldn't relate, I don't relate to half of the steps, I don't relate to the uh to the faith uh steps that are that are designed in this program. And so I you know I created my own version without all of that faith stuff. Um and I tried to have you know I tried to start meetings that were, I didn't know that there were secular meetings. We had things called we agnostics. There was a lot of we agnostic meetings, and I would go to those and they never were. They were never agnostic, they were just meeting just other meetings. Um But it never I never got any traction at all because um, you know, the thing about when you're in that when you're in that orthodox state of Alcoholics Anonymous and when you're when you're a dissenter, um you gotta have some thick elephant skin and you gotta have some good recovery because uh this isn't utopia, and there are people there that are afraid of a dissenting opinion, and they will sh they will they will harm you. They can harm you, they don't they don't mean to be harmful, they they want to be helpful by guiding you back to uh to God, but that wasn't gonna work for me, and uh and and I was you know barely skating, barely skating through Alcoholics Anonymous, uh going to one or two meetings a week, not sponsoring anybody, not really connecting with people. Um I don't even know if I had a sponsor at that time. I've had lots of sponsors over the years, but you know, you stay sober long enough and and they time out, you know, they they get old and they pass on. So I've gone through a lot of different sponsors, and um and it was just getting to that point where I was just skating, just skating. But I started going to a to a uh one of one meeting a week that I went to regularly for years, which was a men's stag. And so I I did have some connection and I did have some fellowship, and I did have uh a group of guys that that I would see regularly. Um and then the pandemic hit, and um, and we couldn't do that. We couldn't even do that. So uh I found I don't know how I found Zoom. I don't know. We found Zoom, somebody started a meeting, uh I went to you know, started going to online meetings, and then uh somehow found secular meetings online. I think I probably went to Joe's meetings or I don't know. I found secular online and uh uh and it was right in line with you know what I had how I had been feeling and meetings that I had tried to to get going but never got any traction and and uh uh I found it oh my god started going to that regularly and uh and started a meeting of my own because uh one of the things that I was seeing in in the secular groups was that rightly so, it was there was a lot of anger towards alcoholics anonymous, there was a lot of uh a lot of communication and a lot of sharing on on uh about anger with alcoholics anonymous. And right and right and rightly so. I mean I was feeling the same thing, but I I wanted recovery, and and I wanted Alcoholics Anonymous recovery, I wanted sponsorship and and uh steps and people actively participating in the recovery, and and I was hearing a lot of just the opposite, that the big book was trash, and uh and the people in Alcoholics Anonymous, uh, the religious ones were trash. And um and I didn't feel that way. I don't feel that way at all. I mean, I don't, you know, the big book is a hist is a historical book, and it has a lot of uh has a lot of you know a lot of stuff that I don't align with, but it has more stuff than I do than I don't. Um and it has a program and it was a it was and it was an attempt by a bunch of people to save other people. And that I will forever be grateful for because it saved me, and I'm still here because of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. But there's a way to do this in a secular way, and all of us that are here understand that. You know, I've had an opportunity to represent secular and reason and recovery before, but it's usually it in front of non-secular groups, so um so the things I talk about are a little different. You know, uh being here in a secular group is um you know, it's like preaching to the choir. You know, we all we all I assume we all understand what secular alcoholics anonymous is and and why we do this and why we show up here rather than going to other meetings. But underneath all of that is this fellowship of one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic, saving each other every single day. And and I like being a part of that. You know, I fell in love with this thing called Alcoholics Anonymous really early on because I understood the fundamental thing that we're doing here, and that is that we are loving each other, you know, we are loving each other into recovery, and we follow the same set of guidelines and we do the same thing so that we can relate to each other's experience of working a step or making an amends or or uh you know chatting with a sponsor, uh leading a meeting, you know, taking commitments. We have a we have a language called we have a language that we develop in Alcoholics Anonymous that's not just verbal language, it's a language of understanding of what of what the process is and and a commonality. Um and that only comes about because we are you know we do similar things. We don't all have the same experience, but we have the same guideline and the same program. And I found that that was kind of missing in some of the secular meetings that I was going to, that that was it was rudderless. And so um reason in recovery is focused on not being rudderless. We have a six-step program, and we have sponsorship as a priority because uh because one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic uh works even better when somebody knows you enough to pull the covers when you need those covers pulled. Um I was taught to I was taught to care more about people's lives than their friendships around here, and I took that seriously. I have a lot of friends in Alcoholics Anonymous. I know a lot of you people here, so many familiar faces, you know. It's it's it's like talking, it's like you know, it's it's family to me. Um I don't know. The uh I was taking some notes because I've just started doing that, and I really appreciate the people that were that were working off notes today, that organization, that commitment to being here. Because I never know what I'm what I'm gonna share. You know, I thought I was gonna be some big circuit speaker when I was new and Alcoholics Anonymous. I would see these people that looked like they knew everything and they came in and they spoke for an hour or whatever. And I thought I'd be one of those people, and uh that's the farthest thing from what I want. I never know what I'm gonna say, I never plan what I'm gonna say when I come here. Probably shows, but um, I've learned to be in the moment. I think the most important things that I've learned in Alcoholics Anonymous in all of this time is to um to be present, to stay out of the past and stay out of the future, because I can't handle either one of those. It brings, you know, the past brings fear and and regret, and or pat, you know, past brings regret, the future brings fear, and uh, and I don't handle either one of those well. So I I have to be in the moment. Um I think I talked about all the things that I wrote down on here, and I don't know if you know I never know if anything that I say helps anyone, and I but I also know that if I don't say anything, I won't help anyone. You know, nobody is saved around here, nobody is helped around here by a spectator. So when I'm asked to do something, I try to say yes. Usually I don't ever want to do anything, but I I try to say yes because uh what we do here is important. What we do here in Alcoholics Anonymous is is the greatest thing that I've discovered for an alcoholic like me. I've found solutions here, I've found fellowship here. Um I found fun here. I didn't know I was gonna have fun in sobriety. I thought my life was over at 26 years old. I thought that uh I was never gonna have fun. I I couldn't I couldn't fathom how anybody would celebrate a new year or a or a birthday or anything without getting loaded. I had no concept of how that was even possible. Because I'd been getting loaded since I was 12 years old, and everything revolved around being loaded. Everything revolved around it, my whole personality, my whole society, everything that I knew was drug culture. Um so I had no concept of how life was gonna be sober and clean. It's terrifying. And I literally thought my life that I was never gonna have fun ever again, and and uh I have I have more fun today than I've than ever. You know, I go to a meeting and I laugh with other people. Because I I I see the joy and I see the recovery and I see that uh you know, that's one of the beautiful things about being around long enough to see people come in and change. You know, the ones that stick around, you see the personality change, you see Especially in person, you see the uh you see the the eyes change. People's eyes change. This clarity, this light that isn't there when they walk in the door. And I don't think anybody should be deprived of that opportunity to be a part of that. Because uh it's the most beautiful thing we have. You know. However we do it. Secular, non-secular steps, no steps. I have a particular band, you know. I I I'm a product of Alcoholics Anonymous and I believe in in the in this particular process. It's not the only way to do things. Um but I suggest it as a way to do things. Um it's worked for me, and I've been here long enough to have some track record with it to say, yeah, this worked for me. It can it might work for you. Um obviously it's worked for some of the people that have spoken here today. Um especially the fellowship and and the welcoming of newcomers, reaching out and making sure that anybody that walks through the door of Alcoholics Anonymous is met with a hand of love and tolerance. So I think that's all I got. Thanks.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:47

Thank you very much, um, Nathan. Um, this is Margarita. I am a sober alcoholic, so alcohol free. And people who know me know I love numbers and I love the numeric way you uh your group is uh R2 to the power of two. I'm sober 1,715 days. That's uh that many days of waking up glad. I remember the day before, and I am um gonna share the seventh on the seventh tradition quickly and then um make announcements about the um just repeat the secular AA's attention um to artist call that we're looking for art submissions, and so that information will be in the chat and a reminder that next month we'll be back, but check your time zones because we have um time zones are changing, changing for a lot of people in different parts of the world and different directions, and uh the time zones might not line up quite the same way as they do this month and in April. And um I uh I just wanted uh to thank the um this group too. I mean, we're gonna we're about to have uh open discussion, but I'm gonna cut to the front of the line and just thank um uh Marsha and Michael and Stephanie and Nathan and uh and Stephanie again. Stephanie to the power of two. Um and um I just uh I thank you for your your brave, honest shares. I related to so much to you. Uh really big applaud to um Marcia to talk about service because it has um made a huge difference to me too in self-esteem and feeling like I belong, in accountability, and um getting to meet and know really wonderful people. I think everybody touched on that. And um I would love for R2 to put the list of the six steps, how they're boiled down into the chat to share with folks. Um and uh congratulations, Michael, coming up on seven months, and Stephanie F coming up on five. I mean, so brave of you to share. I think that's about when I first uh came to this very no, wait, no, this wasn't my first one, but it yeah, I was about that far, and I felt like I was getting jumped into a gang or falling backwards and uh and wondering if I was going to get caught or not. But um but yeah, the the people here have been fantastic, and um uh and I like what Michael said about um improving communication with his husband and and same thing with me, just the the fact the power of honesty in recovery and in connection and in intimacy is just you know amped up the um um the the the recovery and the connection to um inimaginably and um and and Stephanie I I relate to your show a lot geographically, we'll have to talk and um content-wise, and uh I also was teaching during the pandemic, but um and Nathan, congratulations on 40 years, and yes, there is a lot of great value to um I found also in traditional, well, not in AA in the in the in the literature as well. I was too scared of traditional AA as I knew it, and I Googled something like what uh Stephanie talked about, uh AA, agnostic AA, and I found I'm a Zoom baby uh myself and uh and found all these wonderful meetings and people to connect with. And um now um we are opening the meeting for discussion, so please re raise your virtual hand using the reactions button on the bottom of your screen. Please keep your share at three to four minutes so that all who wish to share may, and our expectations that we're here to support each other. And we do encourage you to identify with what has been shared previously. The meeting usually lasts about 90 minutes. Folks are welcome to stick around after the formal part of the meeting concludes to socialize, and participants can share in Spanish or English because you will be translated into the other uh language simultaneously by Veronica or Fabio. So choose the listen in English or Spanish only. You find the globe icon labeled interpretation on your toolbar, and you select, you um select your preferred language. Um trying to think there was something else I was gonna say. Oh, uh I saw Adrienne had her hand up for a second, but I also noticed Adrian's uh camera is recognizing every time you fixed your hair, Adrian, your um your thumbs down went up, and then I saw you caught it once and you meant you're meaning to yeah, you weren't meaning to send that, and then you followed up with a heart. I knew that was going on. You have gesture recognition on on your camera. And um, Stephanie is gonna moderate, but I'll just call him the first person, Chad. Thank you. Thank you, Paul.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:21

I'm Chad, I'm an alcoholic. I'm glad to be here. Um yeah, uh I will start by just echoing Margarita's sentiments of like love to everyone who spoke. Uh I'm biased, R2 is my home group, uh, and Stephanie is one of my um sobriety partners and uh Stephanie, New Zealand, and um Stephanie and I Ohio and I bonded over coming out of Ohio and all kinds of things. You know, um when I I found much like Nathan, when I found secular AA, um it was desperation. Uh I a second round of desperation. I had said to my therapist just a couple weeks before the COVID lockdown started, there must be secular AA. Like there must be an agnostic version of this program. And she said, Chad, of course there's agnostic AA. What are you talking about? Um and it just had not occurred to me. And so two weeks later, the first round of COVID lockdown started. And so I Googled uh agnostic AA or secular AA, one of them, and found Omega and thought this is the closest to a party of an AA meeting I've ever been to. Um and through Omega God found uh reason in recovery. Uh and I said, what is this six-step bullshit? Um and then I actually paid attention to it. And uh I thought Nathan was an asshole the first time. Uh he's heard me say that before. And uh now I know we both are actually, but we respect each other completely. I have learned so much from Nathan, from the six steps, from the other people, um, include including a lesson from Nathan himself, which is that uh if I if you if I don't think someone in the meeting is an asshole, I'm not going to enough meetings. And and I live by that today. Um and I live by learning from as many people as I can every day uh in as many meetings as I go to. Uh, and I have learned a sense of service uh because I had not done, I had done service, but I had not committed to regular service in any meeting before uh before I made R2 my home group. Um and now it is a very important part of my recovery. I learned uh really how to how to sponsor both from R2 and from uh the speaker who's coming after me, my sponsor, Jeb, my my other great sobriety partner, uh, who's helped me learn to sponsor. Um I learned really, and what I want to say most importantly is that uh reason recovery and and then the secular um book study uh in in combination with my experiences with Jeb as my sobriety partner have have helped me learn how to navigate traditional AA and the big book and the messages and be able to learn from the messages uh and what this program was built on uh without shutting it all down in my head because of the language it was written in in the first place. Uh I could not deal with the prayers, the third-step prayer. And I'm agnostic, I'm not atheist, but I could not deal with a third-step prayer in a meeting. I still hate it, I'm not gonna lie, but it's not for me, and it doesn't have to be for me. And um, it's for it's for people who believe. And I no longer judge anybody who believes, because the six-step program and the language of things like Jeffrey Munn's brook, uh and the language of the six steps that Nathan wrote and adapted have helped me learn how to translate all of that stuff in my head automatically in the moment, and learn from every meeting I go to, traditional extremist or or uh secular. So thanks at pass. Love you all.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:15

Thank you. All right, Jib, come on in. Good to see you.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:21

Thank you, Stephanie. Yeah, my recovery name is Jeb, and I'm a grateful recovered adult alcoholic. And I'm thinking I probably need to make R2 my home group because this is where I hear the message that it is actually digestible, compatible with everything that I've learned to do in my 47 and a half years. It is just amazing. And thank you for putting it out there. I love the fact that today we have people at different stages of the journey, and that's the reality. Um, you know, I'm in a different place now than I was 10 or 20 years ago, or I will be in 10 or 20 years from now, because it's it's just always more the thing that I'm reminded of is first of all, the program is not six words or six sentences or twelve words, it's a process, and that's why the book that Nathan and the group have produced and put and have available as a download on reasonandrecovery.org is uh for me essential to digesting what is actually practical, what I can do, what I need to do, and it's it's just amazing. Uh and uh that that's the book that we're reading in the secular book study meeting. It's no longer called the secular book study meeting, because we're doing other books right now, though, doing the book from reason and recovery, and uh it is digestible, it's only 87 pages long, not 561 or whatever of the big book, which is just enough to make me regurgitate. There's no way that I could retain and digest all of the contacts, text of that book to help me with what I need to identify with and do something with in my own life. But the language of that little book is so clear and friendly, and so much of it is really this whole thing of the RTU idea, it's one alcoholic connecting with another alcoholic. First, learning how to connect with myself, and that's where the process of the steps, as long as I use them, whatever version I'm using, is essential. But being able to relate to the things that are in that little short book, say, oh yeah, I understand. That's clear, that is so important. For me, it is it is the the book of the generation, or certainly of the year for me, and I I hope others will find it just as useful because it you know it reminds me of the things that are really important, and it's all about being responsible for myself, taking responsibility for my past and present actions and my future, and taking better actions on the basis of that. So I've I've learned to love this this meeting and the people in this meeting because we're all trying to help each other stay on the right side of the grass, as we used to say. So today is I think day 17,3. Oh my gosh. Is it 54? It's something like that. But anyway, it's still one day at a time, just like everybody else. Many thanks.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:02

Thanks, Jib. Good to see you today. Thanks for being here. All right, Bill, you're up.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:08

Oh my gosh, the most boring person in the world. I'm Bill like a monk. Yeah. Oh my god. I I first of all I enjoyed all the speakers, which is rare. And I identified with a lot of stuff that most of people were talking about, and and Nathan combined. The only thing I have in I don't have in common with him is that I got a set or two years before we did it. And nobody's coming up to know what the problem was. I just knew there was one. And I left it accordingly. But I didn't know what else did it, so I stayed in the traditional meetings. And after everybody got away from it with time proof, um everybody said it was just coming to try and because it's mentioned in the big book somewhere. I mentioned I know about the big book and I can come in, but I don't read them. But I never know. I gotta I came here for super many somehow like I'm gonna. And I've been settled a long time, and people think I really know what's going on. I'm just I've just been similar long time, I don't know anything. And I try to tell people that yeah, this this this particular speaker meeting is very delighting to me. I mean, it's really really terrified everybody. No matter what they were saying, I've been there, done that, felt that, and I didn't know why, and then they know what it was called. And I I found selective meetings quite an accident and a traditional meeting. Uh this lady was very much like a good person, so she went to a word meeting, there was a selective meeting, there was a place called the Camel Club in here in Las Vegas area. And I went there for the next three years, I guess, and then COVID showed up and changed everything. And I got into the the uh um the Zoom world, and the guy that uh helped me with my first uh thing was Kurt, he's the one that gave me the information on how to get out of Zoom. I've been coming to these things, and I still go to traditional meetings, I go to them tonight because I'm still learning. I'm almost 83 years old and I'm still learning. I mean that's it's a lifelong thing. It never it never stops being alright. It just we just do. And then when we learn, we teach other people what we learn. I don't know what to say. Maybe I'm a bunny sociologist. I don't know. Anyway, I got it. I came here for somebody, and I got what I came here for. So thanks for listening to me.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:29

Hey, guess what? I love you too. Uh-huh. Can't do anything about it. Good to see you, Bill. All right, Tim, you're up. Come on in.

SPEAKER_11 1:23:37

I'm Tim in Chattanooga, and I agree with Bill. Uh recovery is an ongoing journey. It's not a done and done, and you just don't have to worry about anything. You have to continue the path of recovery. Um, I've definitely been fortunate to have found secular fairly early on. I got a sober on December uh 16th of uh uh December 19th of 2016, and I didn't find, I did not find the secular meeting here in Shatanooga until uh it didn't form until about four months later, and then I didn't find it for seven months, but I was fortunate to find it. And uh it's I go to a lot of secular and atheist and agnostic meetings now, and and I always find an openness to that. That all AA meetings are welcoming, though. That's the one thing I learned early on. There's a loving and caring community when you walk into the rooms that people care for you and care for you finding sobriety and recovery. Um this week I I've been taking care of my life and and hospice care. And once we started having to give her the uh liquid um uh morphine, um I had that same stupid thought go through my head that, you know, well, you're tired, you've not been sleeping well. Maybe it wouldn't be that big a deal if you just took a dose of the morphine and slept well tonight. Um, I can understand the emotions of that, but it's it would have been just such a stupid thing to do, and gladly I didn't do that. Um, and then I was somewhat fortunate that my life did pass on Wednesday after a very short hour, hour and a half of declining breath and passed very peacefully. I'm grateful for that. She's no longer suffering. But the thing about 8A that that did me a lot of good was the finding a degree of emotional sobriety. I think my biggest recovery has been studying emotional sobriety once a week uh on Thursday nights, uh, originally at 10 p.m. and now 9 p.m. But you know, it's also you know it doesn't have to be emotional sobriety. That same principles come out of stoicism from you know thousand, 1500 BCE. So it's like uh, but that made a lot of difference in me being able to weather the difficulty of watching your spouse die uh and and stay out of wanting to go back to drinking. Um I think that's the important part that um not only was me getting sober hugely important for me, the biggest and most important thing I did in my adult life, but it was big and important, loving, caring thing to do for my wife, who had had to tolerate 37 years of me being an alcoholic. So I'm just grateful for everybody here. Uh I got in a little late, so I'll listen to it on the uh on the on the web later, and I'm grateful for what you all uh said today. And also we'll try to find the book that uh Jeb mentioned. So uh look forward to reading that too. Thanks.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:44

Thank you. Definitely it will be in the chat, and uh apologies and condolences for your loss. We are definitely here for you, so thanks for being here. All right, Andy, come on in.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:56

Hi, I am Andy Alcoholic. Um I came into R2 pretty much uh I think it had been open for a year because I met Nathan and Omega and I followed him there, and I can confirm what has been said numerous times. He is a huge asshole, but he's y'all's asshole, he's my asshole, he's an asshole at everybody, so we're all equal. Um, and that's the way he treats everybody, he he wants to help you, and I love the sponsorship and how it's promoted at that um group because I mean they'll every to my sponsor, and um and I can't speak highly enough. I mean, they openly welcome the newcomer to a degree that can actually see off pudding to someone, but when you go to another meeting. You see how they do it, you're like, Well, shit, I should go back to the one that actually seems like they really care about me. So, um I mean there's numerous wonderful groups out here, and I recognize so many faces because I was going to Toronto meetings when COVID hit. Um, and that's how I I've met Joe before, and I mean shit, he's the first damn book I bought. Um, yeah, so um, and but everything opened back up, so I don't talk to those people as frequently anymore because they can go to in-person meetings, but they're still doing well, and I met them through groups um that all you guys are familiar with. But R2's always been my home group because I've never not heard at least one good share or and I think that's true for every meeting. I can always learn something if I'm willing to listen. And um I've learned that through good sponsorship and just the people in this room. So thank y'all for putting this on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:20

Thank you, Andy. All right, we'll do the final call if there is anyone else that wants to come in uh before we close out, Michael.

SPEAKER_10 1:29:28

I just wanted to say one more thing about how important it has been for me to be in service and being a newcomer. I was allowed to be in service within three months of sobriety. And since then I've done multiple service positions, and service keeps me sober. It makes me go to the meetings even when I don't feel like going to the meetings. So that I truly appreciate about R2 is being being able to be of service with you know, I don't even have a year in yet, and I'm accepted as a trusted servant. So I appreciate that very much about this group. Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:10

Thank you, Michael, and thank you, all of uh R2. This is Margarita again, alcohol free, and we're gonna um conclude the formal part of our meeting with a big thanks to everyone for just showing up and especially to the the speakers who um who shared today and the um and the service going on behind the scenes that makes this whole thing possible. So thank you everybody. We usually finish off with a song. I'm tempted to start singing Here Comes the Sun to you, but I'll spare you and ask you, invite you all to unmute. And we just sing, if you're sober and you know it, clap your hands. And it's a fun way to finish the meeting. So please unmute.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:52

And if you're sober and you know, surely thanks everybody.